Tag Archives: life lessons

motivation

3/9/2020 – Remove it, Change it, or Accept it.

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“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here-and-now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.”    

~ eckhart tolle, The Power of Now

The last couple of months, I have been doing a great deal of reading. Not everything has been focused on Stoicism or business, in fact some of the books have been Sci-Fi novels, and I’m even about to finish the whole Harry Potter series in the next few days. 

But I’ve also been slowly crawling my way through Eckhart Tolle’s “the Power of Now,” usually whenever I’m needing something a little more introspective and personally challenging. And for me, challenging it has been.

If you couldn’t deduce from the title, the book is heavily focused on “living in the present.” While the concepts in the book are nothing new, the presentation is a modernization of buddhist ideas with a flavoring of christianity to create a modern zen for the modern mind. Over the last 30 years, it has been a very successful book, selling over 3 million copies in 30 languages, even being recommended by Oprah.

Personally, it has been teaching me how little I truly “live in the present” (I kinda hate that saying, but it is the easiest way to capture the concept), but I’ll save that topic for a later writing.

I don’t fully identify with everything I’ve read in “The Power of Now”, but one thing I have really appreciated has been the simplicity with which much of the fourth chapter’s strategies are on staying present. A simple example is the quote atop this reflection. It truly and simply captures the only 3 solutions one has when one decides to take responsibility for their own life and do something. 

The operative words there are “take responsibility,” in that they underline the consequence of action. If no action is taken, misery and negativity will continue to be endured in an undesirable situation.

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in an intolerable situation? Ever felt hopeless or powerless to make the type of impact you know you’re capable of?  Ever just hate the situation you’ve found yourself in?

Well your options are quite simple. You either do something about it, or you don’t. If you don’t, then you will continue to be a victim of your circumstances, you’ll continue to be unhappy, and you won’t be in control of your own being and, subsequently, life.

If you do decide to do something about it, however, you have 3 simple options, according to Tolle:  “remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.”

The passage goes further into detail about those three options and various related strategies (so I recommend the book if you’re looking for more on the topic), but the very next thing after this quote is just as important:

“If you take any action – leaving or changing your situation – drop the negativity first, if at all possible. Action arising out of insight into what is required is more effective than action arising out of negativity.” 

Negativity can be a powerful motivator of action in itself, but if it is the key ingredient, it will come at the expense of growth. 

I think this is a powerful lesson that everyone can benefit from, and I am grateful to have it to meditate on this week. I encourage you to do the same.

spain

spain, pt 4. madrid: the tourist and the traveler

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winter had settled in on spain in an aggressive way.  almost overnight the temperature dropped by 40 degrees fahrenheit, and suddenly walking around outside didn’t seem as enjoyable.  the patios of many of the local watering holes began to dry up, where 2 days prior there were throngs of people socializing and drinking outside, they were now packed inside, trying to stay dry and warm.  rainclouds would sweep low over the city, in a constant drizzle, ensuring nothing could stay dry, and then brisk winds would rush through the city streets ensuring the damp was felt with a ferocity.  the streets glistened and reflected the streetlights above, creating a watery mirrored horizon to the cityscape.

martín and i tried to make the most of his last day in europe, despite the weather.  we explored the streets endlessly, in search of nothing more than the mysteries of what might lie beyond the next corner.  we had marked a few things out on a map just to provide a little direction for our wanderings, but we largely ignored it, content to just walk and take everything in.  one thing i had come to admire martín for was his fearlessness in interacting with locals, specifically when asking for directions or recommendations on where to go or what to eat. up until this point i had spent most of my life refusing to ask for directions or recommendations from other people (whether at home or abroad), but not for the reasons one might assume.  the common humor goes in america that a man doesn’t ask for directions because it is a point of pride to never be lost and always know where he is going, and to ask for directions would be to hint that he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and that would be damaging to his pride.  but that’s not really why i never did it.  growing up, my parents always “had it together,” and they never wanted to appear that they didn’t have all the answers.  always dressed sharply and always knowing what’s going on, this façade contributed to an overall image of “there’s a plan, and we’re sticking to it.”  it was keeping up appearances, but if one were to peek behind the curtain, they would see just how chaotic and blindfolded my family really was.  we were more lost than everyone else.

i think it’s hundreds of little things like that which add up to a greater dishonesty that led me to reject so much of my life and myself and leave in search of greater truth and authenticity, and so much of this trip, i had begun to discover, was unlearning these poisonous habits.  martín stopped to ask a random person in the street where the best hamburger place was in the neighborhood, i tried to stop him because i was so embarrassed.  when he had finished talking to the very nice lady who instructed us to walk a couple more blocks and go right to an argentinian burger joint that was magnificent, i asked him Continue reading spain, pt 4. madrid: the tourist and the traveler →